From the very beginning of your existence, you belonged. Your very survival depended on belonging and being connect with someone else. It’s how you were designed to live and thrive. You were made to be a necessary part of something bigger than yourself.
When the first humans were created, the only thing that God said was not good – was when Adam was alone. Given that Adam wasn’t entirely alone – the animals were there and, well God was there too, there was something about having another human which God said was ‘good – very good for Adam. And Eve was created, and together they were both given the invitation and authority to be fruitful, to take care of each other and the rest of creation, to work, to play, to rest. To Love and Be Loved. To be seen and heard and known. Together.
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A few years ago, I learnt – the hard way – how important it is to pay attention to the details of an invitation. I had been invited to a friends wedding, and after the church service I got a ride with some other guests to the wedding meal. We arrived and within minutes, the bride herself made her way over to me. At first I felt honoured that she would personally come to greet me… but it was soon clear that that saying ‘hi’ was not the purpose behind her coming over. “Dom – you are an evening guest, for the party later tonight. It’s on your invitation. There’s not a seat for you at the table for the meal.”
Oh.the.shame.
I was not supposed to be there. I tried to laugh it off and I quickly left. I won’t lie – it stung. Being somewhere I wasn’t welcomed did not feel good.
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In the Bible, Jesus tells a story about a celebration party, thrown by a King where the guest list ends up being full of people that others, at the time, would not have expected to be invited.
In this story, the original invitees come up with weak excuses as to why they can no longer attend and the King sends his staff out to extend the invitation far and wide. What always strikes me in this story is just how much food and space there must have been to be able to welcome in ALL the guests that ended up attending. IAnd guess it makes sense when we remember who was throwing the party – it was a King! We can be safe in assuming that God had an abundance of wealth and resources to be able to throw such a big get together.
Jesus told this story to a group of Pharisees – a special group who were originally intended to serve the people by reminding them of God and God’s good + life giving instructions for living in community. Somewhere along the way, they became more interested in showing their superiority and in making sure others ‘remained in their place’. So the meaning of this story would not have been lost on this ‘elite’ group – Jesus was saying that the King would throw a party and it would not just be this elite group who would have a spot. Everyone would be invited and given a place if they accepted the invite – no tests or entrance exam required, no report of good behaviour that had to be submitted first
In my friends case – I understand that she asked me not to stay – the caterer had worked out the amount of food based on a certain number of guests, any additional guests would have been less food per person. Maybe even the risk that there would not be enough food at all.
Sometimes, when it comes to belonging we act as if God is operating under the same circumstances as the caterer at my friends wedding. We believe there is a limited supply of what God is serving at the Kingdom party – so we need to secure our place. Either by ‘outperforming’ the other guests and earning or deserving our place. Or by keeping other people out – refusing to accept that they belong – out of fear that if they do, it could cost us our place. We become preoccupied with comparing and competing, rather than enjoying the feast laid out for us. We’re distracted by a need to perform trying to impress whoever we think will keep us at the party. We spend our time trying to look a certain way, rather than actually live a certain way.
The story of the banquet reminds us – that the table is large and the food is plentiful. We do not need to earn or perform to get our spot or keep it secure. The King sent his staff out far and wide. The invitation is for full participation – it’s an all inclusive deal, once you’re in, you’re in.
Another place we see some surprises on the ‘list’ – is in the genealogy of Jesus in the book of Matthew. The surprises come in the shape of 4 women in a list which almost always, only, exclusively featured men! The women are Rahab, Ruth, Bathsheba and Mary. Between them they present an impressive list of reasons to not be included in the genealogy of Jesus, the Sovereign King. Rahab a former prostitute and a citizen of an enemy nation, Ruth a foreigner, Bathsheba – a widow whose husband was killed by the man she ends up marrying, Mary a young woman who is pregnant outside of marriage. No one at the time would have expected the names of these women to feature at all – not with their stories. The fact that they are included – in Jesus’ own story – points to the fullness of belonging that is offered to us. We are invited in, all the way in – to God’s family. Our belonging is not dependant on how ‘good’ we are or the maximum number of participants – our belonging is based on the invitation. And that is open to us all.
A sense of belonging reminds us that we are not alone. That we are part of something bigger. In Hebrews, we read that we are surrounded by a ‘cloud of witnesses’ cheering us along. It encourages me so much to think of Rahab and Ruth, Bathsheba and Mary and all those who might have been considered outsiders or misfits, all cheering us along. Their stories accompanying us and supporting us, as we live out our own. Reminding us that from the beginning of time you and I have been called by name, we were made to belong. There was, is and always has been space for us at the King’s table.